Women

Colin decided then and there that
the female mind was a strange and
incomprehensible organ - one which
no man should even attempt to
understand. There wasn't a
woman alive who could go from point
A to B without stopping at C, D, X,
and 12 along the way.

Women may fall when there's no
strength in men.

That woman doesn't have the
sense God gave a retarded flea.

It's good to let God pick a man
for you. We don't do so well
when we pick them ourselves. They
end up lipsticks in a drawer, all
those wrong colours you thought
looked so good in the package.

We all know him to be a proud,
unpleasant sort of man; but this
would be nothing if you really
liked him.

One is not born, but rather
becomes, a woman.

A woman knows very well that,
though a wit sends her his poems,
praises her judgment, solicits her
criticism, and drinks her tea, this
by no means signifies that he
respects her opinions, admires her
understanding, or will refuse,
though the rapier is denied him, to
run through the body with his pen.

A man will never love you or treat
you as well as a store. If a man
doesn’t fit, you can’t
exchange him seven days later for a
gorgeous cashmere sweater. And a
store always smells good. A store
can awaken a lust for things you
never even knew you needed. And
when your fingers first grasp those
shiny, new bags…

You see, women have been essential
to every great move of God. Yes,
Moses led the Isaelites out of
Egypt, but only after his mother
risked her life to save him! Closer
to our time, Clara Barton was
instrumental in starting the Red
Cross. Harriet Beecher Stowe's
Uncle Tom's Cabin put fire into
people's heart to end slavery in
the United States. Rosa Parks
kicked the Civil Rights movement
into gear with her quiet act of
courage. Eunice Kennedy Shriver
created the Special Olympics.
Mother Teresa inspired the world by
bringing love to countless thought
unlovable. And millions of other
women quietly change the world
every day by bringing the love of
God to those around them.

They love their hair because
they're not smart enough to love
something more interesting.